0:00

in you want to take them to places where they're uncomfortable but to that to do that you must make yourself

0:05

uncomfortable take them camping because in the camping everybody gets responsibility we start making food on a

0:12

on a fire um in fact a lot of kids start loving that uh but you create new

0:18

experiences and and there's there's wonderful things like in end of April my wife and I go on another 4 day like the

0:25

Lost Coast and there's a whole group and there young people that sometimes come with their parents and and so we carry

0:31

our packs and and you know heavy gear of 45s you set your tent up you make food

0:37

you know you you but you got this most fantastic new experience and that's where you really learn new

0:46

[Music]

0:54

things hello everybody and welcome to True Hope cast the official podcast of true hope Canada where we take a deep

1:00

dive into mental Health's many physiological and psychological aspects this is the show for you if you're

1:05

looking for motivation inspiration knowledge and solutions and that's what we are all about here at true hope Canada and true hope Canada is a mind

1:12

and body based supplement company dedicated first and foremost to promoting brain and body Health through

1:17

non-invasive nutritional means for more information about us please visit true hopec canada.com today I welcome Dr

1:23

Henry ventor to the podcast now Dr ventor is a licensed clinical psychologist and professor of psychology

1:29

with 2 5 years of clinical and teaching experience he is currently the program director for the ma human behavioral

1:36

psychology program and professor of psychology at National University Dr ventor's research focuses on the rising

1:43

mental health issues among young adults including the increased rates of loneliness and the role of meaning and

1:50

purpose in achieving happiness and fulfillment in life his therapeutic approach combines client centered

1:56

therapy CBT and psychodynamic principles creating a cohesive and effective method

2:02

for addressing mental health concerns today on the show we discuss the giving up generation addressing hopelessness

2:09

among youth enjoy the show okay hi Henry welcome to True Hope

2:15

cast thank you so much for being with us today how are you what is going well what is going well it is turning

2:22

into fake spring over here it seems like winter is over it's like spring is here

2:28

but the people in the no around here says it's fake spring watch it it's going to get cold again and since I'm

2:34

new relatively new in the area I'm not sure I'll watch out but I enjoy this week of springing them amazing yeah I

2:41

hear the word fake spring as well and I'm not used to that terminology I'm just used to Spring but this fake spring

2:48

is something that uh yeah it looks like something we're both going to have to get used to but that's that's great

2:54

today we're going to be discussing the giving up generation addressing

2:59

hopelessness among youth but before we jump into that topic would you mind just letting us a little let letting us know

3:06

a little bit more about who you are and what it is that you do please right I'm a licensed clinical psychologist in

3:13

state of California I've been that since 1996 originally from South Africa

3:20

immigrated to United States in 1998 um and um three years ago I also

3:28

moved out of California in to the Smoky Mountains of North Carolina then uh my

3:33

actual full-time job I am a professor at National University I've been there for

3:38

20 years uh I first was in charge of the online uh marriage and family the

3:45

Therapy Program I actually took the program online the last two years I am

3:51

director of a master's degree program called the Masters in human behavioral

3:57

psychology um 13 month program online program we run at

4:03

National amazing and what what has brought you to the journey to this point

4:08

where you are going around having conversations about this giving up

4:13

generation What's led you to that point since we work with young people

4:20

that enroll in the University we are probably were some of the first to pick

4:25

up you know what is happening with enrollments and talk with advis advisers what do you hear from people who want to

4:32

enroll we started to pick up there that people start questioning should I even

4:37

go to university should I do undergrad should I do uh master's degree is it even worth it so we started picking up

4:44

that there is uh because they would ask us uh what can we give more information

4:49

and so it started there and then um gradually we also looked at uh what else

4:56

is happening I then picked up um I was actually uh uh in Canada for a

5:03

conference uh on on this topic where I presented where I was there the Friday

5:08

the Monday the attorney uh uh the medical report here in uh in in

5:17

America came out um the white people on

5:22

loneliness among young people and so that started a bigger research um for me

5:29

to see this just in America and as I did wider research I found out now this is not just in the United States this is

5:35

all over the world that there is a tremendous rise in loneliness and it's

5:40

actually been tracked a lot of people said but it's it was started with Co and I thought well let me see and I was

5:47

amazed to find that research has shown that this has actually started a couple of years before Co the trend started and

5:54

we just didn't pick it up uh Co accentuated it but it's interesting that

6:00

young people first started feeling lonely uh isolated and then that morphed

6:06

into this whole idea of giving up on life and not having a clear purpose and

6:12

goal of uh for their life interesting and just to continue

6:17

the kind of the introduction of this topic can you maybe explain a little bit what you mean by the giving up

6:23

generation and what some what are some of the key factors contributing to this sense of hopelessness of among youth

6:31

today yeah so what we hear from young people is that it uh you know the

6:36

American dream was always about which came the capitalist dream and the dream all over the world that you'll you

6:42

you'll uh leave school you'll work hard you go to college uh you'll earn enough money uh to buy a house and build a

6:49

retirement and there will always be I'm earning enough to one day have a future and it it more became clear with perhaps

6:58

due to economic problems the world over that young people realized I ended up with so much study that the jobs that I

7:05

get and I get paid is not going to be be enough to buy a house I'll never earn

7:10

enough to even retire so I'm not even going to try uh and work hard we can just as well stop trying another uh idea

7:18

was always well you can always pick yourself up and you can you know you can make yourself again you can restart uh

7:26

and a lot of young people started saying that's impossible too hard taxes are too high so there's a lot of factors playing

7:33

into this I don't think it's something that young people just started doing because they they lack the courage it is

7:40

a lot to do with what happen socially and in in the structure around them that

7:47

that they looked at and they started making sums about will I be able to make

7:53

uh a living for instance young people started questioning for the first time

7:59

in our whole cultural history should we have children isn't it too expensive to

8:04

have children now when I you know I'm married a long time now my 40 years plus

8:10

and we had children at 20 at that stage we didn't even question how much children would going to cost we just had

8:16

our children yeah young people now started working out says it it's unfair we will never be able to afford this kid

8:23

to provide a living because it has become too expensive and um and that has

8:30

become uh a growing Trend that young people just started losing hope that

8:36

there is even something you know something at the end of the rainbow they say well there isn't even a rainbow

8:42

there's nothing so become very dark and depressed remember at the same time we also tracked and looked at well what

8:49

what is the mental health numbers now remember there has been in the last 50 years tremendous rise in the treatment

8:57

of mental health medications treatment I mean as you know there's about 20,000 mental health apps available now

9:05

you can access therapy so we would think with all our advances that our mental

9:11

health numbers especially among young people would have been declined well

9:16

Simon you'd be amazed it didn't decline it is rising at an incredible rate so

9:22

with the rising loness is also the rise in mental health issues that with in

9:28

spite of the more treatment is seemingly uh not working uh the

9:35

medication they're using is seemingly not working or not doing what it should

9:40

but the numbers is rising and we have more young people now accessing therapy than ever before so there is definitely

9:48

a correlation there uh in in what's happening with young people in the loneliness as well as the mental health

9:54

issues that's really interesting and I just have to just regards to let's say

10:01

17 18 19 20 21 year olds that region of individual I know quite a few of those

10:09

people in that age group and they can't they can barely think past the weekend

10:14

let alone marriage kids retirement so

10:20

correct when you're talking about um the hopelessness of these young people

10:27

connected to the fact that it's going to be almost impossible for some people to afford a home to retire at a a good Age

10:36

and and live those final years enjoying yourself I can't imagine that that age

10:43

group is really thinking about those long-term things in the future I'm 40 now and I've been thinking about them

10:50

for the 10 years but when I was 20 there's no chance I'm thinking about um

10:56

mortgages and I'm thinking about marriage and I'm thinking about kids so I'm just wondering what's your opinion

11:02

in regards to the factors that could probably enter the life of these children from let's say maybe 11 onwards

11:12

for a 10year period um where they are becoming more um let's say independent

11:19

from their their parents and doing things outside of the home a lot more there has to be a conversation around

11:25

smartphones and social media and how that is a completely unnatural phenomenon that we don't

11:32

know really the long-term ramifications of you know giving a 12-y old a smartphone access to the internet access

11:39

to all these social media platforms that um we know are directly linked to

11:45

depression anxiety and all of these things you know it's a very very unnatural um platform to be for the

11:52

brain to be engaged in so I just I just wonder um about those

11:58

long-term ideas opposed to kind of what's happening to kids in let's say 10

12:03

years between 10 and 20 what's happening to them to lead themselves into a

12:09

position where they do feel like there's not necessarily no future for

12:15

them but I just feel like they don't have the motivation they don't have these they don't have the responsibilities like that I know a lot

12:22

of people you know when I was when I was 15 I had like a paper route and I had a job when I was 15 you know and I had I

12:29

had to contribute to the family and I might not have enjoyed that every single day but I certainly enjoyed you know

12:35

that transition into adulthood and I just wonder now um do you think there

12:41

are some things lacking with these 20 year olds that there we were fulfilling

12:48

that lack 20 30 years ago absolutely the uh we are now

12:56

discovering that a lot of young people around 20 that Ares at 20 around uh

13:03

struggle with a poor emotional strength and the a big thing has become

13:10

emotional intelligence U and not just the here there's a lot of them are very smart but

13:17

they do lack the uh the tenacity to deal with the uh pressures of everyday life

13:25

because it's a pressure once you leave school um you know you you got to make a

13:31

living that you got to go to school if you go to school you got to pass we can't give you a degree for nothing you

13:37

gotta pass and it's and it's it's not easy or if you say I'm not going to go to college I want to go work well you

13:43

got to show up every day and you before somebody's got to pay you it's it is simply not easy and it's as if a lot of

13:51

young people were not aware of that true the economic realities of there it is a

13:58

bit they hear about these things but on the other hand it seems like previous

14:04

generations were just mentally tougher and we are thinking about what what was

14:11

the difference you bring up the difference a big difference is that you know children at 11 10 11 out get a cell

14:18

phone but it's not just the cell phone the problem with the cell phone is to make you stationary you don't run around

14:24

with your cell phone while you're playing a game you sit like I'm sitting here you know even my job has changed I

14:30

sit my whole job from beginning there to end I sit here if I don't go do something physically I'm going to sit

14:36

here so young people has become stady they go in their room where they sit with the computer or then they came into

14:42

the cell phones and I think the lack of of being Physically Active has become a

14:48

problem uh less young people are a are involved in sports I don't know about

14:54

you but when I was in school and I got home I got on my bike and it was out for the whole day yeah if we didn't play

15:00

sports who out got the home at dark uh you you just you know you you uh had to

15:07

compete everybody compete with sports uh which ultimately makes you teaches you

15:12

to be stronger there's rules you got to follow it I remember my Ruby Coach man he was like it was like boot camp to go

15:18

there and you talk to your dad about it it's like yeah well you got to make you stronger you don't get any help there uh

15:26

you get and I think these things do play a role the type of Lifestyles the

15:31

culture that we created for young people all over the world because it's pretty similar nowadays that has led to the

15:38

fact that um a lot of young people finish high school and then enter the

15:44

young adult world and they are just not mentally tough for this for this world

15:50

and they hope that the world now remember if you're not mentally tough what we saying is you have an external

15:55

locus of control you know the term locus of control internal locus of control basically says I can handle stress uh

16:04

and issues and even if it's tough on the outside things are not 100% I can still

16:10

maintain my North I can still you know have hope yeah but the external locus of

16:15

control means it's a weaker uh uh emotional strength and therefore I need

16:21

the world around me to solve it for me it needs to be a perfect world

16:26

everything needs to be in line for me to be happy and of course that doesn't

16:32

happen that's never going to happen it you know the world has never been like that the world is always up and down you

16:38

know jump moving into young adult it's like jumping off a boat in the middle of the ocean and then discovering that the

16:45

ocean is a ferocious place and you got to swim for life that is uh and it's like a lot of them is like no somebody

16:51

has got to rescue me and that's not going to happen and it's very it's it's it's I think it's in a sense it is is um

17:00

it is a shock for a lot of young people and they're looking for answers and part of the part of the reaction is I think

17:07

we should just give up we should not even try we should work four days I mean uh the the uh you've heard the other day

17:15

I read that the uh the interns in Washington the association representing

17:22

them uh approach Congress to ask for four day week uh they want to less

17:29

and people are like we actually need you to work six days a week not four days a week and it's it but that's a sign of we

17:37

need we we can deal with the pressures so we need the world outside to change and the shock is the world outside's not

17:43

going to change yeah I I remember I remember being 19 and 20 and it being a being a

17:51

lot more unfamiliarity a lot of un more unknowns were stepping up but but I felt like my parents and my brothers had done

17:58

a half decent job in preparing me for those challenges and it's if you were going to go into do a marathon or if you

18:04

were going to do anything that required you to challenge yourself physically mentally whatever that might be you

18:10

would have some preparation whether you you know you read you read books in

18:16

preparation or you trained your body physically in preparation or you had a job when you were 15 or 14 working in

18:23

your dad's shoe factory or doing a paper round these are all they're all they're all lessons right it's all training for

18:30

the day where you do leave the house and you have to start fending for yourself and it's

18:37

uh it's a very I think you can get a lot of positives from stepping into the unknown and and the unfamiliar but if

18:43

you're unprepared if you're untrained it will seem impossible and you will

18:49

certainly very easily slip into a state of hopelessness because all you see in front of you is failure and then you

18:55

wrap in let's say um social social media

19:01

Incorporated anxiety and depressions that's right incredibly difficult for an

19:06

individual to Galvanize the resources within themselves to get the energy and

19:12

the motivation to do highly challenging things be that emotionally or physically so there

19:21

has to be an element where we're talking about what's the parental responsibility in getting your kids ready for you know

19:29

1920 school or the or school or the workforce and what's the school's

19:34

responsibility in doing that as well you know like the school system must have a huge amount of responsibility because

19:40

they have kids from you know six years old to um 16 or 18 in whatever country

19:46

you might be and they have you know six to eight hours a day with with kids are

19:52

we are we not preparing them properly are we not integrating education into

19:57

the experience of um going to University or within the workforce what what have

20:03

you seen that well this is one of the things we look at ask a lot of young people that's in school now you know in

20:10

your last three years in school was there ever a course you could take that prepared you for life after school

20:17

talked about young adulthood uh maybe this's a psychology class that a couple of people take but that's a handful of

20:23

people but generally uh school curriculums do just not include these life skills for young

20:31

people a lot more can be done to prepare young people for uh this transition

20:38

that's going to take place that um what does it mean to transition from

20:44

adolescence to Young adulthood and what does young adulthood mean it means you're on the way to become an adult the

20:51

um the the so a lot of Education a lot of programs can um I'm not saying

20:57

they're they're not there's not any of them but as as a rule there is it's

21:03

there is not enough of that to help prepare young people for what is lying ahead um to do proper career planning

21:12

because a lot of young people would just kind of push into well you should go to college and they never had a chance

21:19

probably to get more career plan to say well you can make a living even you you don't need to go to college there's

21:26

other careers that you can also take but think about it a lot of people just land up in college and we created this thing

21:33

of an Undeclared major which actually just says somebody shows up in at University with no idea

21:40

what they should do which is a bad idea you know they just show up and then hope they going to figure out um that it's

21:47

going to work somebody like that could have done something else that would be more meaningful m one of the other

21:54

things that a parents can do uh if if somebody says what should I do now I some I have a kid between 10 and and 15

22:03

for instance is uh put your kid in some organized Sports they yeah go do

22:09

Wrestling Boxing find a club take one do the things we were hoping that Sports

22:15

could could be that place but like in America my daughter uh played Varsity

22:20

tennis but you know only 20 of the top kids out of a school of 3,000 eventually

22:26

could play tennis she was luckily one of them it became a a professional sport

22:31

pretty soon and we were new to this pretty soon they asked us who's her coach well Mama's her coach she said you

22:36

your kid's not going to make it you need to get a coach uh here's a list of coaches so we found out that you know in

22:43

order to make it uh she had to play in tournaments up and down the valley we got her a Coach uh that started working

22:51

with her it became semi-professional now her case he busted her knee and the doctor said this is just out she can't

22:57

do that anymore more but that gave us a glimpse on you know just a handful the

23:03

rest of the kids there is no sports for them to participate in schools can do so

23:08

much more to create an environment what there's PE which children generally hate

23:14

because they get evaluated remember my one daughter had to run around the track in a certain amount of time and she's

23:21

not an athlete at all and then she started having an asthma attack and if she doesn't make it she's gonna fail PE

23:27

and then you can't even yeah so they actually got children to hate physical activity but so much more can be done

23:33

but let's say schools don't do it parents should do whatever they can because you talk about other things like

23:40

uh paper R well there are no papers anymore so I had to number one number two there are there are uh cities areas

23:48

where you wouldn't send your kid on their own out to the end of the street it's so dangerous so that's right we

23:54

have those realities but if possible and I know there's economic limitations from

24:00

a lot of parents but as far as possible uh get your kid to be do something

24:05

physical under a coach because they learn to push themselves they learn um

24:12

to to follow rules I remember years ago my wife is also a clinical therapist and she worked with children years ago she

24:19

worked with probably one of the most difficult children you would run into our practice we had a practice together

24:25

he would run in he would do a summer so and then stand on his head on the on on

24:30

the couch uh it was it was just uncontrollable parents these parents

24:36

were like out they couldn't handle this and um one of the things she told him

24:41

this kid needs to get into organized Sports I don't get what you do this get you get him they eventually got him into

24:47

swimming and so we could follow nowadays you friends with people on Facebook you could follow them and uh we could follow

24:54

through people we know people know look here is his picture he became a swimmer in school now the swimmers in school in

25:01

high school my other daughter also swam and they would be at school six o'clock

25:06

in the morning that's when they started to practice you know uh and you should hear those coaches I mean they are they

25:13

are terrible like is this for the olypics you guys are training them but

25:18

it it created a lot of a lot of strength in the kids this kid eventually became a top swimmer in the school team they

25:24

broke the school record for a relay um and he is now on to University and part

25:33

of his healing and Recovery was this organized sports that she got him into

25:39

and the CH the parents in and explained to them this is what he needs not just home he needs a place where somebody

25:45

else can tell him this these are the rules this is what we push you for to push himself Beyond just remember school

25:52

on the other hand uh when created a system especially here in America where

25:58

you you can pass 12th grade without doing a lot of work they just you take lesser and lesser class in actual fact

26:04

it's not a 12th grade it's a sort of is a sort of ninth grade that you end up with call it 12th grade but they you

26:11

took all the lesson classes because the kids who want to go to school will take will push thems a little bit more uh

26:17

take a higher level class or AP CL advanced placement classes so a large

26:22

group of kids in 12th grade and think they prepared but actually they they they never push themselves at all the

26:28

schools just made it easier to get them through so in the process I think it all

26:34

contributed that we now we have this um uh period where life has become harder

26:42

it's become very difficult it's not easy to make it and to uh to leave school

26:47

find a good job will pay you and do all the things that that you dream to do it

26:52

is not easy but on the other hand our children are less prepared so the Gap has become very wide a lot of a lot of

27:01

young people that is emotional strong enough and the demand is very high and

27:06

and this is why you see a lot of these these hope and anger and they look at politics well politics should be fixed

27:12

for us and then that doesn't work out and then they're angry and it just leads to more polarization and then the rise in um in

27:21

mental health issues so parents can do a lot they they need to look at what's

27:26

happening with the kid and realize this just sitting and and and working with a

27:32

device is is not healthy they need to create a system when they say what can

27:37

we do to get our kid to be to take more responsibility because responsibility is

27:43

what builds uh emotional strength I take responsibility even if you uh I remember

27:50

when when I was high school I would U do Gardens because a lot of people uh

27:56

ladies didn't have husbands the past away widows and so I found a niche there that I could go mow their LA because

28:03

they didn't have anybody and I know nowadays you have you know guarden care everywhere but in those days you young

28:09

people yeah anything to help their kid to to do more than just uh sit is very

28:16

important yeah you've um you kind of bridged a few interesting gaps there with the education system and the

28:21

parental system um community and then kind of you've got kind of got the overarching guys of of the government

28:28

that can certainly help support with initiatives and funding to you know create things such as um organized

28:34

Sports and and teams and things like that and I just just before we I'd love to transition into Community because I

28:40

think that's a Hu hugely important aspect I think that I've just mentioned this on the show a few times in regards

28:46

to Conventional school systems and how you know being in school for maybe you

28:52

know 15 years um a lot of schools end up kind of

28:58

killing a lot of creativity and individuality within children I think in my opinion and I think that um Can

29:06

demoralize some children and take away a lot of like raw excitement they they

29:11

might have for certain things um you know you've got for example maybe a a

29:17

boy who just all he wants to do is play play sports basically that was me at school all I wanted to do was get outside at break time and play football

29:23

with my friends and then I was so excited for PE class I was so excited for games class but that was only you

29:29

know 3 four hours of my week and the rest of it while I'm sat in the classroom I could never get super motivated because my I needed to move my

29:37

body much much more in order to um really feel like I was thriving and

29:44

feeling really motivated and that's just me as an example but I just think that it could be quite challenging for kids

29:50

when they get to like 15 16 17 years of age when they're thinking about what they're going to do in two three years

29:56

um within school when they're very much kind of put put into

30:02

this structure of their educational system rather than being able to really um

30:10

nourish what's really creative for them individually whether that is sports or

30:16

whether that is art or drama or design or it could be mathematics or re or

30:21

English literature for example it could certainly be those things but I feel like we don't pinpoint

30:28

the really exciting factors that kids really really love and enjoy because at

30:33

the end of the day I think that most people when they find a job that fuels

30:38

their soul spiritually it's something that they've always loved and enjoyed

30:44

probably from a very very young age and it can be very challenging I'm not

30:49

blaming the school system they have very limited resources limited time Etc they can't facilitate everyone's individual

30:55

desires and needs but I would think that there must be some mechanisms in regards

31:01

to incorporating education the home and the community to be able to help

31:08

individuals find what it is that they they love and they're motivated about and then do their very best to you know

31:15

certainly turn that certainly turn that into a job and into work because it's happened with me it's happened with so

31:21

many people I know who have gone through the workforce for maybe 5 10 years and then they've gone back to something they

31:27

actually love and you can you know you can turn so many amazing things into into into work into money these days and

31:34

it comes from a place of passion and that's right it's very very passion I think it's a really important word in

31:41

regards to what's going to motivate and drive you and I think when kids get to 19 these days they've got no idea what

31:47

they're passionate about like I think a lot of them think they're going to be YouTubers or famous Instagram absolutely

31:53

interesting love just interject there yeah uh they've done a worldwide study on on countries what kind of jobs young

32:00

people want to do and in more than half of the countries they want to become influencers work but if you then ask a

32:07

lot of the young people well okay you want to do this a job what do you want to do it about no I don't know because

32:14

they don't know what their passion is so they see uh you know well there's something to do but they they miss the

32:20

whole point yeah the whole YouTube influencer uh uh phenomena is successful

32:26

for people who has a passion and talk about something that's authentically

32:32

them that's right you that's why you see people can start Chanel and it goes nowhere because it's not authentically

32:37

the person there's no passion yeah there's there's no story behind it so

32:42

even there it leads to a lot of of um despondency and failure because they try

32:49

these things and then it fail and they and they can understand why it fails it's like well you need something that

32:55

you're passionate about it's not just something which you do and it works it's an idea but there's a a component

33:03

missing in for some of it that's right um you've discussed the importance of

33:08

community and support systems in addressing youth hopelessness and can you share some effective strategies for

33:15

building these systems perhaps both at an individual level and as a societal

33:21

level as well yeah the the the um in fact this is so serious uh Simon the I

33:27

refer to the American Surgeon General Dr moru he said that we actually have an

33:33

epidemic of loneliness and isolation and he connected it with the fact that where

33:41

does it come from and that really I picked that up and he said one of the biggest problems is the lack of

33:47

community he said they found in a study that and he yes that a tremendous study that uh young people now between 15 and

33:56

24 uh has 70% less social act interaction

34:02

with people and friends than 20 years ago so the the the the uh what we should

34:08

focus on is not so much the isolation problem but the fact that it comes from

34:14

a lack of social interaction there's no true social act interaction and you're right the social media has played a role

34:21

because a lot of young people think they have like you and me you're on Facebook and you have friends on Facebook or

34:27

followers you don't even know the people this this yeah I got 170 people on on

34:33

Facebook after I called that to say do I know these people and there's still a lot that I don't even know so are they

34:39

really my friends so you can be duped in thinking that following people online

34:44

and interacting that you have interaction that's not interaction you are just a spectator and the this has

34:51

become one of our modern problems that social media has turned a lot of people

34:56

into spectators they they just read they consume but they don't actually interact

35:02

or make any new connections but it takes up an inordinate amount of time and uh

35:10

in in in eventually because people in misery seek company as they become more

35:15

isolated more depressed they are more prone to read negative uh news and they

35:22

follow negative news uh and but they still remain spectators so and this has

35:29

become one of our biggest problems is that the lack of social interaction so

35:34

one of the issues that came up is well in that young adulthood period we need to make you know build relationships so

35:41

what will we do well let's build an app and so dating apps has become tremendous

35:47

now working with clients I get a lot of firsthand information how these dating have works and it is a mindfield do not

35:54

think you're going to make this connections over I mean one of the guys you know he divorced about two three

36:00

years ago eventually they got him to go on dating app and uh and all he got was

36:06

people who would said hey you know I was on my way to meet you and my car break down can you just send me

36:11

$70 and and they they so that led him to be so respondent say Henry how am I

36:17

gonna meet anybody uh he wants to make social interaction because the world has

36:22

become very difficult uh in uh the culture is is not there built around

36:30

social interaction if you take for instance one of the uh big areas of

36:36

social act interaction used to be Church well uh as you know worldwide going to

36:42

church has just plummeted now don't look at it from a religious Viewpoint look at it as a

36:48

human connection view people would go there and meet each other so now less and less people go there so where do

36:53

they go so there's less and less places where young people can interact uh uh

37:01

with other people and that becomes the focal point so parents should make sure

37:07

that that when they deal with the kids uh especially between 15 24 is to

37:13

evaluate what is their social interaction do they have friends do they have interaction with their friends uh

37:21

do they do things together with their friends uh if not it's a clear

37:26

indication that that young person is is not on on a healthy path and so it's

37:33

very important and then to help them you say well you can we help you to do something with your friends and plan

37:40

something with your friends uh but that is one of the most important things and I don't think it's just for 15 to 24

37:47

from clients I work with I find out even older people has the same problem where

37:53

do we actually socially interact with other people are we com a society that

37:59

just becomes isolated living uh in an the internet and just remain uh

38:07

Spectators or how do we break this this Halt and change what we have well the

38:12

first thing is we need to understand what the problem is and get insight which is why we have this thought is to

38:18

develop Insight that let's try to begin to understand what's happening

38:24

here I'd love to just touch on the spirituality aspect uh if you don't mind because I I think it's I think it's

38:30

hugely important I think that what you said in regards to don't think about it as um you don't have to necessarily

38:36

think about it as church or religion or God whatever it is but it's a massively important communal space that for

38:43

hundreds of years people have have have joined to to come together to talk and

38:49

just imagine when we were living a much smaller communities and you know every Sunday that would be a place where

38:54

people would come together to be with other human beings and that's obviously a hugely important part of being a human

39:00

being is looking other people in the eye and sharing stories and sharing sad stories and sharing laughs you know it's

39:07

all massively massively important and I've seen I've certainly seen the that

39:12

that dip that you're talking about in the attendance for church but I think in recent years in the past couple of years

39:19

um I know locally in our church here that more and more younger families are

39:24

coming in and joining and I and I don't think it's necessarily a don't think it's exclusively about

39:31

spirituality and having a connection with a higher power I think it's about coming together with the community and

39:37

having um having this group of people you know is going to be there like this every every every Sunday at nine o'clock

39:45

you know there's going to be dozens and sometimes hundreds of people there um

39:50

coming there for for for for a very positive reason and a lot of I've seen a lot of younger families coming into

39:55

church and I think that that um requirement for spirituality and

40:01

connection is people are recognizing that that's a part of their part of their life that they need to have and

40:08

joining a church and going to a church on a regular basis is a very simple and easy way to do that and traditionally

40:15

we've seen it do incredible things and yeah I think that this what what do you think about um this connection with the

40:21

youth loneliness and a lack of spirituality within themselves as individuals and within the family

40:27

because we mentioned the word passion and you know passion is a very interesting word you know where it where

40:33

does where does that passion come from is it come from inside does it come from outside of us does it come from a higher power and if we don't have that we are

40:41

not complete I guess yes I think that the the issue of not going to church

40:48

less people go to church the loss of faith is playing a big role in uh people

40:54

not finding their passion because uh the if you say I don't need that then

41:01

all right and who are you how do you define yourself where do you come from uh in order to know where I'm going I

41:08

need to have an idea where I come from if I don't even know where I come from and then how do I know where do I want

41:15

to go Faith uh religion has always played a tremendous role and there are

41:22

some very healthy uh aspects around Fai helping people to find out who they

41:28

are uh because remember that's part that we talked about the 15 to 24 your whole goal

41:35

your and task D is to determine who you are you are you need to build identity

41:42

to what we call identity for closure to a this identity and then in the 24s up

41:48

you need to use that identity to connect to other people so large part has to do with finding out who you are I think

41:54

faith can play a tremendous role apart from the the fact that it creates a great Community faith can play a

42:00

tremendous role in helping me determine who I am and also coming to groups with

42:05

who I am because remember uh finding out who I am between 15 24 is also coming to

42:11

grips with what who I am who I am not what do I have what do I have not I

42:18

realize I'm not a genius there's other people's Geniuses I realize I'm not the

42:23

next best new sports star so I come to groups limitations but I also have to

42:29

discover my potential that I have otherwise I enter that period of young adult with very depressed uh very

42:37

unaware of the fact that I do have qualities Faith spirituality religion

42:43

had played a big role in helping people find out that they do have worth and they do have quality and I think without

42:51

that will miss out on something that they now need to discover and there no way to discover that and so the the

42:59

other thing A Part faith is community can be Grant there's a of of

43:05

nonprofit who does great work encourage young people all right we don't have Paper Trails anymore you can go sell

43:12

newspapers and all of that but there're if you can't play sport in in at a young age in um in a

43:20

valuable nonprofit organization because that creates community and nonprofits always look I had a client a while ago

43:27

was working in school and she was working at the animal shelf and and she

43:33

was spending a whole week at the animal shelter stud people she started loving

43:38

it she it seems like she's going to make it a career and I was just it was just excellent idea of uh of finding a place

43:48

where where I can find meaning and purpose uh and they needed volunteers and she started volunteers like cleaning

43:53

kennels and then she started this and that and I young people to to do that

43:59

you don't need to be alone don't sit and and I'm not knocking the internet the internet is important and a lot of the

44:05

technology is fantastic it's a great development so the but what we need to protect against uh are the elements of

44:13

technology and social media in particular that seek to maximize the

44:18

amount of time that young people are spending online at the expense

44:23

of of social interactions they balance it things but how do I balance get

44:28

involved get involv nonprofits get involved in in church you know whatever your religion is uh because that's going

44:35

to lead to more connection but we need to start maximizing social connection

44:40

that people can feel they belong because where I feel I belong I want to spend

44:46

more time there uh I just I'm drawn to spend more time there uh and ultimately

44:52

it makes me feel better about myself in life if I feel I belong to to a group to

44:59

someone we all in a sense uh have a hurt mentality we cannot survive on our own

45:06

and in isolation beautifully said and I think there's so much to be said for

45:12

um faith in something coming towards you whether you have the the idea of a

45:20

perfect job or an actual object I think that being able to have faith in

45:25

something in higher power I'm not necessarily think people have to believe that there's a a a dude in the sky with

45:32

a big white beard but to have that faith in something outside of us uh and

45:38

leaving it up to that power to to bring it towards us in a in a kind of way that we can't predict I think I've seen that

45:44

I've seen that work for myself personally I've seen it work for a lot of other people um absolutely and it's

45:49

there's a lot lot of power with that and there's actually some incredible um books out there some incredible individuals probably some incredible

45:56

podcasts about how can actually get in towards that power and and use that for yourself and I think

46:02

that could be a very useful tool for a lot of people kind of struggling with that um abely in that time and I'd love

46:08

to talk to you about something that I'm experiencing within my family and I've got I've got a three-year-old and a

46:13

5-year-old and I'm thinking about when they're 15 years of age and I I I love

46:19

the historical um stories of rights of Passage from um childhood to adulthood

46:26

and how how traditionally you know um the these these boys would be trained to to hunt to fish to to to make fire and

46:34

then they would have this transition into adulthood by going out into the forest and taking care of themselves for

46:39

days or weeks at a time and coming back and having ceremony around the fact that they've survived with the with the

46:46

challenge with the tools that they've been given and the teachings and they come back and they're they are now a man

46:52

and they actually have a role and responsibility with that in the community that comes with that with the comes with overseeing those challenges

46:59

and it's a very difficult thing to um incorporate in 2025 and I I think about

47:05

how I can do it and um what I'm going to do with my kids and I'm very fortunate you know I'm I live in Canada I'm from

47:11

the UK I lived in Sweden for a long time and that's where my elder brother lives and he has a child as well who's four

47:17

years old and my brother in the UK's got a four year old as well so my plan is to when they're 14 15 years of age is to

47:24

kind of send them off to these these these foreign places and live without

47:30

the family and live without their comfortability and the the their usual surroundings and be embraced in a new

47:37

environment and I remember when I was like about 10 years of age and my

47:42

brother would ex do an exchange program with a French student where a French go

47:48

a french guy would come and live with us for a couple of months and my brother would go and live with his family and they would just do this exchange and I

47:54

think that's an incredibly positive way to um to to step out of the comfort zone

48:02

and also as a parent let go somewhat in regards to the the control that we want

48:08

to have over our kids to keep them safe but yeah we have to know that you know there's going to be a Time coming soon

48:14

when they're 18 19 years of age where your job as a parent to teach them what you can teach them to go out into the

48:20

real world it is done and I just want wonder what you your

48:26

thoughts about that were like at that age the rights of Passage and how vital travel is for kids not necessarily to go

48:33

when they're 19 to go and travel to Thailand and party for a month or whatever but to actually go to a new

48:41

place and live there and work there and you know be incorporated into the into

48:46

into a completely new society and community and what that can do for you as a human absolutely there's two things

48:54

that you talking about here that can help a child develop uh increased

48:59

emotional strength that prepares them for when they leave uh adolescence and

49:06

that's new experiences with increasing responsibility so your job as a parent

49:12

is to create these new experiences um because a lot of what we have currently especially build around

49:19

you know the internet is very boring it's actually very the same a lot of people say well there's so much to stream I'm actually bored because it's

49:25

the same over and over yeah uh and you can just sit behind your computer and so

49:30

that's why they create new things to draw attention our job experence uh should focus on how can I create new

49:37

experiences um you know start at a younger age where you send them off for and this where camps has always been

49:45

part of the American culture for instance and I think in other areas as well but it's become very expensive for

49:51

people it's only been drawn down to a couple of days where it used to be much longer but that was the idea is that the

49:58

kid goes out from new experiences over summer at a camp where they are now part of a bigger group with responsibility

50:05

and that's the that's the idea to build up more and more of that to the point where you can send them you know for a

50:12

couple weeks couple of months to a whole other area because it's new experiences that stimulate the mind to develop

50:18

because with new experiences come responsibility and and so the more you

50:24

you pick up responsibility the more you grow emotional strength so you must help

50:29

to to at a very young age uh increase the size of their world not just send to

50:36

school a lot of parents are very focused sending kid to school and they have to learn there and they miss the whole other area is they now part of them

50:43

don't take them hiking they don't like it but that's part of the prepare them you they need to pray your back we're

50:49

going to go we're going to teach because in you want to take them to places where they're uncomfortable but to that to do

50:55

that you must make yourself un comfortable take them camping because in the camping everybody gets

51:00

responsibility we start making food on a on a fire um in fact a lot of kids start

51:06

loving that uh but you create new experiences um when and there there's

51:12

wonderful things like in end of April my wife and I go on another four day like the L coast and there's a whole group

51:18

and there's young people that sometimes come with their parents and and so we carry our packs and you know heavy gear

51:25

45 pound you sit your tent up you make food you know you you but you got this

51:31

most fantastic new experience we actually did a n day across uh the

51:36

sieras in California once and the uh so and that's where you really learn new

51:43

things so a lot of parents can start taking their kids on on some of these camps or hikes or just figure out what

51:51

is new experien don't just go and not not not Disneyland but don't just go to Disneyland where you just send them off

51:57

oh go take a ride get that ride over and over there's no new experience later on they've done it over and over it it

52:04

doesn't it's a fun day but it doesn't add to development so parents should ask

52:10

what can I do with my kids that will help them to experience new things and

52:15

increase their responsibility and the scope of their ability to function in this world what can I do not just school

52:23

that's a given got to send them to school that that's part of it but we look at the school to do these things

52:28

for us and the schools are saying no our job is just to teach them these things cognitively and we can't do the rest we

52:34

don't have the time we don't have the money we have limited resources parents should look and I know parents are busy

52:40

uh sometimes they work very hard two jobs I do understand that yeah but that is something to think about and

52:47

sometimes you can pair up with other parents to say yeah can my kid go with your kids to do this so you're on the

52:52

right track here with something very valuable yeah I think the um it can be

52:58

very challenging to create awe and wonder in anyone these days but going

53:05

camping and seeing mountains and seeing oceans and seeing Blue Lakes and seeing you know 500 year old trees and then

53:13

once you get rid of the light pollution of cities you look up at the stars and you see the cosmos like that is just

53:18

some of the most or inspiring things you can ever do and it will viscerally

53:23

change individuals and I don't care how much they Instagram they look up at the stars they will be they will be they'll

53:30

be changed and it's an incredibly cheap way to connect human beings to something

53:37

that's bigger than us and abs all about you know for for parents to listen and I I could throw it in here I use a group

53:44

in California TSX Challenge and this guy takes young people uh as a group out if

53:51

you can do it yourself you can send your kids with them H it's just you know it's

53:56

safe it's they do it all the time that's one way of of getting your kid out of

54:02

this this this monotonous world that they often is send them with one of these groups to do something um or

54:09

travel as you say uh to another country if if you can wonderful because new

54:14

experiences just expand the mind yeah and it forces you to adapt and that's

54:20

that's the kind of emotional growth that's necessary beautifully said and I'd love

54:26

to finish up talking a little bit about nutrition and mental health and and kids

54:32

and the Our Youth and in preparation for this podcast and a few others this this

54:37

week I've been reviewing some of the research papers done on nutritional deficiencies and mental health and our

54:44

our Flagship product here at trueu Hope Canada has 35 independent peerreview medical journals to its name and I was

54:50

looking at one a couple of days ago in regards to using broadspectrum micronutrients in treating children with

54:57

um clinically diagnosed psychological disorders and it's a very rare phenomenon because you know obviously within the scientific World they want to

55:03

look at one ingredient that that's G to take care of anxiety or depression Etc because you can't you can't patent

55:11

natural organic material and you certainly can't do it when um we're talking about 30 36 ingredients in our

55:18

product you know it's that's not how pharmaceutical companies make money so they're not going to put up the the

55:23

money to research these things but I I was just reading through this 2010 study um that was comparing micronutrients to

55:30

medications for managing autism and I know we've not talked about autism in this show but we're talking about like a

55:35

spectrum of psychological disorders and you can certainly put anxiety and depression loneliness and all of those

55:42

things within that and this study in particular which I'll actually put in the show notes for reference because

55:48

it's quite it's quite remarkable um and this study found that using micronutrients specifically M Power Plus

55:54

in this case reduced um social withdrawal it reduced anger it reduced irritability and it reduced um sib which

56:01

is like self-injurers behaviors and I see all of those things

56:07

maybe not the sib but like I see all of those things I see anger I see social withdrawal I see

56:12

irritability I a rage I see all of these things with teens these days so we're not talking about necessarily autism but

56:19

we're talking about a lot of things that teens experience and when are there's

56:24

there's a bunch of schools high schools in the area where I live and my son and

56:29

I um ironically talking about Community we we go and pick up litter on Sundays

56:35

outside this school because there's a bunch of houses where the kids they'll go to 7-Eleven and they'll they'll dump

56:40

their Monster drinks and their 7-Eleven drinks and me and my son we go pick pick all that up on Sundays and the absolute

56:47

garbage that the kids are consuming throughout the day whether it's these

56:52

you know like almost a liter Monster drink which is just caffeine sugar and

56:58

all these things the I can only imagine the nutritional State some of these

57:03

children are in and then they have to go sit down for six hours and try and focus and concentrate when all they've got

57:09

running through their body is sugar and caffeine and processed food processed

57:15

food that's just like the body is in no way in a in a space to develop and

57:21

Thrive and feel energy in a in a natural state use of these food often triggers these B

57:29

of deep depression because remember after e a lot of carbohydrate processed food you get a high and very soon within

57:35

an hour you get a very deep drop where you feel lethargic you feel down which

57:41

if you struggle with mental health issues that is not helping you in any way yeah exactly and so what do you

57:48

think about these deficiencies and how they might contribute to this growing sense of hopelessness and lack of

57:53

motivation in today's youth because at the beginning of the the be beginning of the show we were talking about you know

57:59

how how are kids right now in this space of Hope hopelessness and loneliness and

58:04

I just think about the stages before they get there and I think one of the

58:09

stages to get to to a state of loneliness and depression and anxiety has to be this nutritional lack where

58:17

their body cannot produce the chemicals and energy it needs to make children

58:23

feel the opposite of that to feel get together with people to feel energized and motivated they can't physically be

58:30

in that state if their body is in a significant state of lack no the whole

58:36

the whole idea is with food is sold incorrectly to people food is f food is

58:43

not just food and if you feel yourself if you f your car incorrectly your car

58:48

won't go if you put the wrong fuel in your car or you put no fuel in or just water and say the car is backing up and

58:55

we don't even understand we don't want to educate people about what the connection is with

59:01

fuel mental health food and what to eat when and so the that because we protect

59:08

a whole fast food industry and that's just processed carbohydrate Foods so they don't want to that kids understand

59:15

the connection between what you eat can have a direct effect on your mood can have a direct effect on your energy if

59:23

you have mental health issues it can exacerbate if you're eating correctly so diet is an incredibly wayd you know it's a whole

59:30

other podcast just talking about mental health issues uh your mood and food is

59:36

very important I mean the the uh they resist that and it's parents

59:41

responsibility to to realize that a lot of of the issues that that stem in the

59:47

Lethy and the the the low energy has to do with the fact that the kid is just um

59:55

you know so surrounded by these wasteful food that's just poor energy so it is

1:00:01

it's necessary I like the idea I looked into your products that you have I think a lot of parents should go on your site

1:00:09

and educate yourself educate about yourself about alternative medication

1:00:14

healthy natural medication because nobody is going to educate you if you don't do it yourself go on a site like

1:00:20

yours to Hope look at the Alternatives I read your whole story uh and and you

1:00:26

know that is often what happens is people go for medication the medication is side effect it's not working and then

1:00:32

they don't know what to do and what we found now young people now moving to cannabis which is now legalized which is

1:00:39

the worst thing that could ever happen in this world newest study shows that it's increasing um uh mental health

1:00:46

issues anxiety uh and and schizophrenia at a Bas but you know they go to that because

1:00:53

it feels like it's helping immediately should educate themselves about alternative ways alternative medication

1:01:01

healthy uh healthy options like yours and then begin to experiment because

1:01:06

nobody's going to do it for them and often that is one of the helps

1:01:11

for a young person that's really struggling is to get the right medication because like you guys are

1:01:18

using very natural products in Earth in our nature is the answer for what we want you're just putting it together and

1:01:26

I think it's something to absolutely look into yeah great points there and I think

1:01:31

that I think for a lot of parents who who are concerned about their kids and they want to have a positive influence I

1:01:37

think they could actually start looking at maybe what they're doing and what they're not doing because you know if you go to like adults we're talking

1:01:43

about alcohol we're talking about cannabis as well we're certainly talking about sugar and caffeine like a lot of

1:01:49

people consuming these to get through the day and um a lot of these things are obviously very unhealthy I CH I'd

1:01:56

actually challenge a parent who knows their teenager consumes like monster caffeine drinks consume one of those at

1:02:03

9 o'clock and see how you function for a couple of hours I don't dare even I

1:02:08

don't dare even try it because this the size it's so unhealthy they can't

1:02:14

actually even try it as an experiment sure and the size so unhealthy the size of the can puts me off because it's just

1:02:19

like there's no couldn't consume that much anyway and even when you were to

1:02:25

look at the Quality of um fruits and vegetables these days you know our soil is massively mineral depleted therefore

1:02:31

you know it's very difficult to even with a natural healthy diet to get the right uh absolutely minerals

1:02:38

antioxidants vitamins that we actually need for our brain and bodies to function properly so supplementation is a very key part to that so yeah I yeah I

1:02:46

app I appreciate your comments there because yeah I I I I'm in a very lucky position where I get to see and hear the

1:02:53

stories from parents whose children were erratic and bouncing off the wall I

1:03:00

think you do I'm glad I I I got hold of of the information now because sometimes

1:03:07

people ask us well where can we get information although we cannot advise them about medication at all outside of

1:03:13

scope my practice I can't tell them go online look up stuff educate yourself go to this site read and see if that can

1:03:21

work for you because that's the good thing about the internet is now we have access access to a lot of information

1:03:27

which we never had but it's not always easy to find it because there's so much information so to help people Point them

1:03:34

and say go look at there are alternatives uh for um you know

1:03:40

medication and for mental health interventions so that's that's um

1:03:45

valuable resour yeah and I I think just to finish up here what I find remarkable

1:03:51

about the human body is that it can put up so much torture regards to these

1:03:56

foods that we're talking about you know but it can also completely reverse very

1:04:02

very quickly once you start um thinking about you know taking a good quality

1:04:09

natural supplement that's been researched to support conditions such as ADHD depression anxiety stress anxiety

1:04:16

all of these things and how quickly you can start to feel so much better and you

1:04:22

become um unre you don't you you're no longer requiring these sugary

1:04:29

caffeinated beverages liting through it's really Liber people don't know what is out there they they just struggle

1:04:35

often they just caught up in this struggle this yeah you know this cycle

1:04:41

which they kept in and so it's vital if they can get out of that absolutely and

1:04:47

there's no human body can consume like a really poor diet the one we're talking about for long periods of time so if you

1:04:52

want to talk about like investing in your health and not having to deal with you know

1:04:58

high high Health costs um take advantage of what's available to you now and and

1:05:04

and start using that and I just wanted to just I think it's important when you're were talking about um the use of

1:05:09

cannabis with with children with teenagers I completely agree with you it's horrific for them the the part of

1:05:16

the brain that actually connects with these substances and the chemicals within them is massively underdeveloped

1:05:22

from 20 from 25 and under so it really really shocks me when I see 18 19 year

1:05:28

olds using cannabis um and they're also using it recreationally right they're not using it for medical they go up to

1:05:34

they go up to 12 16 times a day yeah we we see them in practice and we say we

1:05:40

can't even work with you you got to go to a place where they can you're addict it and they don't even know that yeah

1:05:47

it's it's really really dangerous and we've not been informed well enough from the go from governments about the

1:05:54

dangers especially towards children whose brains are not developed yet and

1:05:59

we're throwing in these toxic substances that are um incredibly damaging so yeah

1:06:04

that's a really really important point I just kind of wanted to finish up on um we could certainly talk a lot more about

1:06:11

the it was great it was really great connection yeah thank you so much can you just let us know where people can

1:06:17

connect with you and learn more about your work please Yes actually I started a YouTube channel restart so you can

1:06:22

look at that it's in in the makings they'll get more of my material there because I'm dealing with a lot of uh

1:06:30

young people who failed at 25 and they don't know where to go and so um showing

1:06:36

them how to restart it because a lot of them said live around the word failure I

1:06:42

failed which is a word we shouldn't even be using there isn't something like failure it's just you took a set of

1:06:48

actions that didn't render the results you wanted now you have something to build on and to change but we created

1:06:54

the word failure as if now you're out you can never start so I'm focusing on that they're welcome to look at that or

1:07:00

they can just email me uh personally at Henry J ventor gmail.com and you can

1:07:06

just put it in your line there if they have a question they're always welcome to follow up with me there amazing well

1:07:12

I really appreciate your time today that was it's been a delight Simon I loved it I loved it and I'm I'm I'm so excited I

1:07:18

found your material I spent two hours this morning reading through everything and and uh I'll definitely be in touch

1:07:26

myself beautiful thank you so much again well right that that is it for this episode of True Hope cast the official

1:07:32

podcast of true hope Canada I'll make sure that everything you need to connect with Henry is in the show notes and you

1:07:37

can give us a little review on iTunes and Spotify if you want to but that is it for this week we'll see you soon

1:07:45

[Music]